April Fools?
by Kumomi
Summary: Roy takes the news a little too hard. I don't own Full Metal Alchemist. Please review! Just ask if you want a ch.2, i was thinking about it.


He was so not ready for this. Honestly, he knew no matter how much time he gave himself to think about it, he was never going to be ready for it. He could sit here for as long as he wanted, mulling over her words forever, but he still wouldn't absorb it. It didn't even make sense, impossible. They were only intimate once, just one time!

_'Roy, its Riza.'_

Was he actually afraid of this? No, Roy chided to himself, he was just unprepared. Surprise, just didn't see it coming.

_'Are you sitting? Alone? I have to tell you something'_

When Roy Mustang woke up this morning he thought it was going to be a good day. Bright and sunny, not a cloud in the sky, birds chirping merrily, now it felt as though it might as well be raining, and all the birds had been shot down.

_'I'm pregnant.'_

He honestly thought Riza had first called him with good intentions, and he really couldn't condone his own response. He had gasped loudly, but before he could say anything the phone was cut off. So now he sat in his living room, absent mindedly staring at a spot of the wall. Him, a father? Just that word alone made him shudder. Not to mention all the things that came with that title. Diapers, bottles, no peaceful nights of sleep, and worst of all, no more sex.

Roy's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. That's right; his beloved Riza would be bloated and fat, so sex would be near impossible. Audibly groaning, Roy rose from his chair to head to the nearest bar. One that would be open this late and that wouldn't care how much alcohol he drank or how late he stayed. Screw what Maes said about fatherhood being fabulous, he was so not ready for this.

The next morning, Roy roused himself from his slumber and dragged himself to his bathroom. Looking in the mirror, he saw blood shot eyes staring back at him. Sighing, he turned his shower on hot and peeled off his clothes that he hadn't even taken off from the night before. After he had finished with his drinking tirade, he had come back to his apartment and immediately dropped on his bed. He was out of it before he even hit the mattress. Sighing again, Roy stepped under the burning hot spray of shower water and silently contemplated how he was going to faced Riza at work today.

Tapping his fingers against the desk, Roy sat tense in his office chair. His paperwork was laid out in front of him, untouched. He kept playing the different scenarios in his head. Confronting Riza, watching Riza gain weight, having a human blob that he would call his child. Yes, he had come to take the responsibility of acknowledging that he was going to b- Roy paused his mental thought there. Be a father. Yes, he wouldn't abandon Riza like some lazily pervert who just wanted to have some fun. Sure that was the intentional purpose, and they were being safe, but this was still the outcome.

A knock on the door rasped him from his thoughts. "Enter." was his only reply. His worst fears were confirmed when Riza walked in holding more stacks of paper. "Colonel Mustang, this are for you. Though I suggest you take care of the one's already on your desk first, sir." She set the papers on his desk, not even sparing him a glance. Frowning, Roy decided it was now or never. "Lieutenant Hawkeye." Roy addressed her, realizing that he sounded too formal. She had stilled, her entire body frozen. Roy grabbed her wrist, tugging so that so turned around. The look in her eyes said fear, and he felt angry at himself for giving her that feeling. "Riza," he said this in a much softer tone, all traces of authority lost, "we should talk about this." "I'm sorry." Her voice had cracked, fear growing deeper in her eyes." "Riza, he said again, "I'm not-""Maes made me do it."

Roy's eyebrow had gone up in confusion at her outburst. "What are you talking about Riza?" Were they even taking about the same thing? "Maes, he thought that you were to tense. He came up with it all, please don't fire me." "Riza, I'm talking about the phone call last night. You're pregnant?" He didn't imagine that, did he? He got drunk after she told him, not before, so there was no way he just had some nightmare of her maternity. Riza stared back at him, even more confused for a second, before realization crossed her face. "You gasped, you didn't hear me." Her voice was astonished, before fear once again took its place in her eyes. "I didn't hear you say what Riza?"

"April Fools."


End file.
